The tune of serenity was far east from where i was standing, I couldn't even see through the hazy clouds swirling around me.. i was forever lost, always been and i thought why haven't i found my way out... why am i still here wondering and feeling sorry for myself... has it been years... or perhaps i just never knew... that i have never left this place..
Indeed i felt defeated, i felt cheated.. all the energy i got was washed away with ol the crazy confusions that never seems to disappear.. i was confined.. it kept on ringing inside my head... i ges i kept it long enough that i din't realised it was still there... i thought i was fine.. but nope it is still mad!
I slowly adapt to my slow pace... walking around just finding something that i din't know existed.. i lost faith, i din't believe anymore... ol n ol.. i became so empty... so hollow that all i can hear afterwards are echos of my lonely existence... sad sad n as owes sad!
i stopped n looked ahead... that tune of serenity grew louder... the haze is less thicker and my view is starting to aim on something ahead...
Although my beliefs were wearing thin... my hopes and dreams are lost... but i remembered what i was taught long time ago... whenever ur lost.. owes find ur ground... stand still... meditate... PRAY!
I did... the tune.. i heard was a call of prayer... the sun is rising bright.. n the trees are green ol over.. there was nothing there other than peace... the peaceful scene i longed to see... i prayed.... although i have nothing left inside... but i just kept on praying... n sure enuf my hopes are rebuild n my dreams are dreamt bigger...
i told myself for now... that god is giving me a holiday from work, social life, dilemma, financial problems and other life's expectancies that used to be a failure... i am on leave.. i am on a vacation.. m free to just be! :)
Another thought i came up with is... everyone has to go thru these phase... the phase where we question our life's achievements, our mistakes and just everything to do with life.. as we moved on to each level of life... the child phase 1-10, the teenage phase 11-19, the twenties living life to the fullest phase 20-29, the first responsible adulthood phase 30-39 and so forth...
N now i have few years left to enter the next phase of adulthood... therefore i am starting to go astray, confused more than ever... but i know it will soon be off n things will be much much clearer for me... i just needed to hibernate inside my larvae n wake up one fine day into a wonderful butterfly... spread my fabulous gold n violet wings... n soar off into the atmosphere.. just wherever i wish to go...
we'll see how it goes... insyaallah!
Indeed i felt defeated, i felt cheated.. all the energy i got was washed away with ol the crazy confusions that never seems to disappear.. i was confined.. it kept on ringing inside my head... i ges i kept it long enough that i din't realised it was still there... i thought i was fine.. but nope it is still mad!
I slowly adapt to my slow pace... walking around just finding something that i din't know existed.. i lost faith, i din't believe anymore... ol n ol.. i became so empty... so hollow that all i can hear afterwards are echos of my lonely existence... sad sad n as owes sad!
i stopped n looked ahead... that tune of serenity grew louder... the haze is less thicker and my view is starting to aim on something ahead...
Although my beliefs were wearing thin... my hopes and dreams are lost... but i remembered what i was taught long time ago... whenever ur lost.. owes find ur ground... stand still... meditate... PRAY!
I did... the tune.. i heard was a call of prayer... the sun is rising bright.. n the trees are green ol over.. there was nothing there other than peace... the peaceful scene i longed to see... i prayed.... although i have nothing left inside... but i just kept on praying... n sure enuf my hopes are rebuild n my dreams are dreamt bigger...
i told myself for now... that god is giving me a holiday from work, social life, dilemma, financial problems and other life's expectancies that used to be a failure... i am on leave.. i am on a vacation.. m free to just be! :)
Another thought i came up with is... everyone has to go thru these phase... the phase where we question our life's achievements, our mistakes and just everything to do with life.. as we moved on to each level of life... the child phase 1-10, the teenage phase 11-19, the twenties living life to the fullest phase 20-29, the first responsible adulthood phase 30-39 and so forth...
N now i have few years left to enter the next phase of adulthood... therefore i am starting to go astray, confused more than ever... but i know it will soon be off n things will be much much clearer for me... i just needed to hibernate inside my larvae n wake up one fine day into a wonderful butterfly... spread my fabulous gold n violet wings... n soar off into the atmosphere.. just wherever i wish to go...
we'll see how it goes... insyaallah!
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