'A Secret to end report'…. Being a secretary ends my reporting days….

I do missed it a lot… though I was holding so much unfriendly thoughts about it… the fact of crashing events and being inclined to write about unfavorable agenda kinda sux… but the time was perfect for moi… it is definitely for me… I owes love writing… my article was featured on my last weekend bulletin… udah ahir wah… but I planned to send in more features… for extra income.. Insyallah!

But as I said I wanted a change… n whether I like or acknowledged it or not… I have fused to being someone… the more thoughtful and patient pickachooo... Hehe

My last day at the Press was quiet and quick.. Its felt like a calm smooth death that I let go… it was sad though the fact I din't get the chance to say proper farewell to everyone… especially those who was kind n nice to me during my stay…

It was suppose to be the day after the last but unfortunately I was blown off to fume… n somehow I was burning the furnace till the evening… hating the one that creates the fusion… when I was perfectly stable the day before, slowly grasping and preparing my journey to the new level… but as we all know… people tend to give u more troubles the higher u get… antah ah!

I wasted that burning fire day not with farewells but with unwell being that would not forgive nor forget the day that marked the most disappointing n frustrating date in my journal and so does it in my life… I dare say… massacre upon those who tries to make my life harder than it already is, n to those who shows n gives me pain will neither receive my mercy or empathy…. I say I hope u DIE! :)

Therefore simply DO NOT cause anymore troubles n please do not create unnecessary problems with me… I've had enuf of my share n I don't need no more shits…

Anyways my sweetheart was making such good efforts to get me in the flowery mood… Well Done!! Nicely put n presented…. Only that my flowers are mostly dead… m gona ask mom to get me some more next month… hehe.. I want my purple roses… m a sucker… n plants die on me… hehe but m gona learn to be more livelier and lovelier to all living things hehe…

I started sewing class already.. Tho I missed cooking class… hehe I am very much anticipating on it… I got things linedup everyday… mostly I try to rest as much as I could… but I need to redo the percentage n do more n less rest…. Now that’s productive while being proactive…

My new job as the Executive Secretary is very much confidential… so not gonna elaborate on that.. Basically I like the job n the room… DATS IT! Hehe… no further comments… lalalala~

K till the next beechin…. :)

Time Ticks not waiting for the wasteful and sick.. no matter what the condition is.. one needs to keep on striving and keep its gratitude fully impact inside the red inner bag...

M hit by the flu... not the dangerous one alhamdullilah but yae the normal, annoying, sneezing, sniffing kind... eaurgh! but i do appreciate the drastic change in my voice.. call me and find out.. just how terribly sexy it sounds.. haha jgn jeles ;p

i feel like reading again somehow... n i just realised the downside of not wanting to take pictures of urself... there's none to see... well yae i do agree that one needs to be vain sometimes... its the self satisfaction... who cares ryt hehe

aaahh krg begambar brabis ku ni... jeles ku aku nada gmbr bisai2... hahaha... jaga modelling tah ku ni hahah prasan.. of cors perasaan confident itu penting utk kesihatan mental... agree?!

anyways.. i think i need to finish the anti-biotics... itu pasal ler aku kena sakit lgi... hehe.. tak disiplin langsung ;p

i love this photo i took while bbq-ing last year...

I feel like such a good girl today… antah ah somehow it feels like I did good today… u know how ur day just seems fine, ur fine, everything is just perfectly fine though thers some troubles but u stil say 'FINE!' hehe just love it… but damn its been awhile I haven't felt this way…

I followed thru my milestone as scheduled… erm… well some ideas aren't fulfilled but well I did half of it and that is a job well done for me hehehe… sekadar… but yeah it feels great.

I found and learn some characters today… the good and the bad… I know and understood why… I am getting there somehow… I'm getting to the zone of networks… slowly n patiently… insyaallah I'll get there soon enuf :)

I know I have neglected my beautiful white lily… I missed thee a lot.. A gud fren and a sister to me…

New year has passed without you,

when years ago it was u to scream the joy with,

but now time has really fold the cards

where we tend to shuffle off guard

not knowing what, where to begin or to start…

getting close and then apart

No matter how easy or hard

YOU are always close in my HEART :)

I found new frens along the way… as owes it is the opposite that attracts… I think I am prone to guy frens than the ladies… perhaps of my masculinity yg menyerlah kegagahannya wawawa…

I also made gurlfrens… I like them a lot… n I think we made a new found discover that underneath all the makeups and shit… we're still those lil girls shouting out needing guys attention hahaha…. I know annoying but darling hehe… cmon guys I know u love it hahaha ;p

We still stand tall though we tend to fall

For gents also for those kinda 'asshole'

We don’t need sticks to play hardball

When we Scream out loud the Big will seem sooo SMALL!!

(hahaha wateva it rhymes :p)

Basically what m tryna say is…. Woman rule… we make the mistakes coz we let ourselves be the fools, we cry becoz we don’t wana scream out loud, we apologize becoz we know we don’t wana fyt, we understand coz we know it’s the only way, we keep it to ourselves coz we know its pointless, we shared coz we need the strength from others, We FALL in love coz we know we are LOVED, We LOVE so much coz we thought it is worthed… we hurt ourselves coz we love…. So I say if love fuck us over… FUCK IT!

Of cors no matter what we tend to pretend that we hate, wen in actual fact we cudn't stop thinking bt the bastard…. No matter what we say… the truth is We just love em so much with all our heart… we'r bunch of suxers for love… Sigh*

The times i spend are both lovely and suffocating... i dno which was it that gives me more... the living or the breathless part... i know the dayz are filled with so much loving and grudges but to trust is to not doubt, to love is not to hate, to care is not to ignore and to share is not to close door... i pray forever lasting... our laughter shall mark the walls with portraits and colours which when we begin was so much more than taints of black and white... it was cast with rainbows and the feelings just flows... i do love thee so much :)

I like the music and lyrics that kissed my cheeks to say take care and locks me up in a safe box.. I know thee and thy know me… we are the same as the music that sings the lyrics meaning.. The melody that tells a story of a once upon a time where frens become lovers and lovers become enemies and where love is found then lost by fate and then discovered elsewhere by someone else from a different chapter and the story goes on and on… until u finally fall asleep and then Wake up again with the Moon shining :)

How did i managed to go on each day? Smiling and tryna laugh helps abit i guess :)

i did my medical check but the people are just eurgh! marimalas kan ckap... lalalala~ owh n my sister safely gave birth to a baby boy at 3pm just now... now i have 17 nephew and nieces... hehe can't wait to see the lil bugger kekeke

Bought tudong (checked), antar kain kadai jahit (checked).... my room is finally done.. thank god...tqs to syg though kusut mengusut jua lehnya but still very much grateful to thee :)

my days are filled with constant worries, whether i like it or not i just gota strive harder to keep on breathing coz m grateful to god for how my life has turned up so far... alhamdullilah!

i am tired from going out for the past few dayz... work and other stuff.. some are fun some are just darn dreadful!

i wana jump up for joy but somehow things just wont let me be at ease... i am tired of complaining but i ges its the rhythm of life that one needs to follow.... let the wave bring me to its course... thankfully alive!

i dreamt of non-stop laughter.. cheers that lifts me up to the sky... spread my wings and just go further beyond reach... be motivated and all... i know it is within my grasp just waiting for the time to soar high higher n high!

i missed that feeling of flying.. even in my dreams i havent encountered it yet.. perhaps its affected by my solemn depression... i am happy but sigh* i ges its just gota be the way it is for now... one thing at a time yen.. coaxing myself to believe it... n i do!

family slowly reunites... gathers around the round table to sing some songs we all remembered... the blues and the cheery ones... we just wanted to stay there... i am thankful for it.. n my mom seems happy bout it.. miss daddy :)

dad is back just need to make some time to drop by and asked for some blessings... though we all fall apart eventually we all go back to where we once belong... there is no place like home and there aint noone who understands u better than those who shares the same blood flowing in ur veins... those whom we called our siblings....

here i am listening to some old tracks, tryna calm my weary soul... it soothes me as ever.. thinking of those music and lyrics... not realising it but i think i am so attuned to it already... the song keeps on playing in my head somehow.... BHOH KE-DOI!!! hahaha

Anyways... gona go swim later.. need the exercise to trim down my fat belly... wawawa... aaahh ignore aja... m gona nap for awhile before that happens... then gona go see my new born baby nephew...

Dayz gone by, one sticks around and help me out with so much tqs syg :)... especially painting my room wawawa... ani kami memanat dgn laptop sorg2 hehe..
Ani time kambang mengambang mengambil laptop baru hehehe... sronoknyeee... mwahz

owh this is the fullmoon last nite... aku tunggu2 tak juga dtg2 vampire bf ku ituh...

my room is almost done, lajuuuu cari handle tabir g... pisaan payah jua mencari ah. i'll upload the finish product soon, once its done hopefully sok lalalala~

This is as a reminder i was there once... Brunei Press... I love the times though at sometimes i jst wana sleep and not wake up to work hehehe :p

update again soon.. i gtg go mandi-manda kan crash somebody's beach party wawawa :)

Alhamdullilah, we all safely arrived in 2010, bringing all kinds of memories with us..

As for me I bring my December 2009 for kicking start my new life… I got a job, n my room is almost done with its new look and I got MICA…

I know the year will perhaps move as fast as how much it did the year before.. I wish things will bring more happiness and less sorrows ahead.. Amin!!

There has been new experiences ever since the day I cried 'the music and lyrics' that soothes and calms me… it made me laugh with so much joy I thank you for that :)

My purple passion is another gift to satisfy… hehe.. I did splurge when I can but mostly to the benefits of my new surrounding.. Trying to make a better living in every corner possible… insyaallah!

I know my resolution but as any other years before I never shout it out only to the stars and moon who could understand… the meaning of unspoken promises… whether it shall redeem myself from past failures or will it bring me to new heights.. We shall see and count the days :)

I am anticipating on the new track playing.. I mean what songs will be played for me to dance to… I hope its lively and fun.. Bigger challenges awaits and we shall throttle on like it’s the days of our lives hehehe (whatever that means)

Faces emerges, frenships connected, fires burn and dimmer along the way.. Cherished n treasured… one should know which one is worth to keep, just like my things I've collected since secondary school, my days of being the princess are now way past behind… I've grown up n my memories are still strong… but I need more space to keep new lines of memories and stuff… therefore old stuff have to go in which my nieces are more than grateful to retrieve them from me… "aku mau buncu!" hehe

When I stop for a moment to reminisce I thought, " wow new year, this is a big number of 10, I predicted years ago I'd just wave to old frens n be awkward in their presence, n yes I was ryt".. But I ges it depends on which frens I encountered… frens come n go but not good ones, they stay for a long time coz they were born to be ur alliance :)

I was thinking on stacking tudongs n hanging more baju kurungs that need to be bought n freshly made since it wasn't ever my favourite thing to do since childhood (hehe dat was my mom's job) now I need to start going to kadai kain bali kain murah n putung baju… sigh*

Those time when I was still with my big size jeans that usually gets ripped off biasaler skateboarder chic hahah my dudes said "yen I can't imagine u one day being a lady buying kain citing 'AAAiii lawa kain ah' n make lots of em with maniks and ol" n of course it came with a big laugh wawawawa…. I was so damn sure I wont! But hey here I am.. Thinking of 'dimana kan bali tudong ah' hahaha antam ko yen!

AAAAhhh aku nervous lah hahahha… matai des… pissseeeenn lalalala~

Hehe iski pun ada, takwuuut pun ada… dush dush pun ada… aduuuhhh

Anyways aku bangun awal sja kan manat ngusai bilik sal payah wah aku nada off ah.. Eh hehe not complaining but my room is looking good yehhaaa…

I went with Fai for food review at All Stars Sports Cafe for the New Year Dine in promo... it was yummey hehe.. especially the dessert... sayangnya nda tehabis kan owell hehe...HAPPY NEW YEAR :)

Well new year… I am new though I am there before but I am here today to smile to you… so if ur nice, come by and sing my songs with good musics and lyrics to sing to but if ur dead I say god bless n hope for the best coz that’s all we could expect when things go wrong but remember life goes on :)

Damn, i was just minding my own business, just tryna get a life back, smiling here and there, whistling to a tune but somehow... at the end of the day interrogations made me feel i was doing something wrong!

WTF?!! Since when was i leashed? Owh ryt.. i forgot.. i was marked! The fuck!! I have never done anything else other than being faithful, and i give no reason for anyone to doubt me! but again n again... years after years... still the d same old thing... (dont even dare ask me what this blog is all about!) mun paham bisai...

I have given my all, my time and devotions for what?! to still be grounded on what terms? WHAT????

If you tink it was a simple question, then just ask, but if it is not a question instead an investigation then put the file away and just go shoot urself! Coz you should know better there is nothing to worry about.. what u need to worry is What The FUCK!

AAAArrghhh!! SAsakkkuu ehhh... Awuu sasakku! no dont make it such a big deal.. this is me then JUST LEAVE IT!

DONT even try to justify anything, do what u must but do not spread it and burn it... i say, do what i want... so does anyone else in this world including YOU! i have never limit anyone for what they deserve, their damn freedom and the last time i checked... i was too!

Antah eh... GO FIGURE!!

Aiya.. another one week plus to go to 2010... m i prepared... haha bila jua.. but anticipating still!!

M back to my memanat self again, i kinda missed it, though somehow nowadays i am more bangang... i ges its my boomerang.. keke... mun paham bisai :p

work is fine... life is great, love bloomingdale... parut kembang kempis... rambut makin panjang.. n my 26 yr old hormones are still unstable... hmmph!! insyallah.. esok lusa complete transformation... jaga makin lawa tah ku ni hahaha prasan.. makin lampuh ada... wawaa

Yeaarghh... new yr yeyeye... apakan! k lah gmbr ku uploaded dah... m done here :p

So whatsup wif yen?

Life is fabulous, it is just absolutely awesome, Great! My glass if half full finally...

That's how i like to think of it now.. its been awhile since i've been shut down from the world.. with no air to breathe, nothing to say and nowhere to go... i'm practically exiled!

Somehow god has been hearing my prayers, every now and then i whispered in solitude and wish that my life will get better... enough with the sighing and weighing, its time to go flying hehehe

i saw the dance that moves me, i missed it, i dread it too... with time my legs are cramped from too much extremities of my past doings, but i stomped still strong where i can stand on my grounds once more.

The sad stories are still singing why, the weariness are on and off but i tend to decide which tune to follow and the rhythm quiets down the unthoughtful drumming in my mind.. i relished it and are grateful yet... for i know good things will come and come what may!

Anyways... it was my birthday after the last, never thought the time has sped up leaving me dazed with the year i have grown older... wiser yes, patience is what i've learnt... friends i've live without and one i've grown so fond of...
i thought i have wasted so much time, but as the day turns to nyt, it only felt like a few seconds away that i've realised things from good and bad.. being the ever optimistic soul, i learn to get by each day and always cast a smile upon my chin and take a shot where i saw potential memorable portrait to frame..
Work life has been fine, new acquaintances that filled my weekdays with chatts and thoughts also lessons to learn from... some are good and some are ermm... well the opposite but of cors thats the way in life, everything is just calculatively balance!

Coping with agendas, journalism is challenged, modifications are required but one needs to follow the rules and regulations... i am obliged.. not gona sigh but just a lil bit of ''aiya".... heheh
I got my Mica now, she's red and reliable... she'll bring me to many trips and we'll sing along on our destinations with my old tracks from college yehhaaa the breeze and the cruise again... i love it! i thank god for that... n my number is back, being terminated for 7 months has kept me in oblivion for periods of unwanted insanity but yet humorous and thick... i learnt alot by keeping myself lonely... it makes me appreciate and focus more on so much bullshits hahaha
so anyways.. i hope this will be the beginning of more beginnings to come... i leave the lines with.... LIFE is absolutely FAB!

Lalalalala~

Raya is passing, i dint received any raya greetings coz my phone has been terminated... so m sorry to those who wasted their credits sending to my number... hehehe....

Tak terasa plak, two months we'll be done n over with 2009. well so far this year hasn't been really the best for me... stil waiting n hoping for the best thing to happen... sigh*

I stayed in ever since 2009 started, sleeping, waking, sighing, weighing, pondering n bla bla bla... passing time.... i am currently doing a project... m weaving a poncho... its 30% done by now... menyulam ku nyanta... wawawa nada kraja.... at least it'll keep me warm once its done... hehe

i lost track of friends and other agendas going around outside the walls... well thats becoz m currently without any means of communication availability... no internet, no phone n no transportation... GREEEAAAT!! anyways m still alive here weighing 54kg n my hair is below shoulder length and hmm.. wat else... owh m still jobless... nothing new on that yet...

i am also training for a part-time tour guide... it was fun n well at least i get to go out n meet a lot of old sweet darling people whose cruising on the big Costa ship. It can be very exciting hehe.... at least thats what i told myself.... saja kan menyaman kan ati... wat else is there to look forward to nowadays... well for me that is.... wawawa piseeeeen...

my hotmail inbox is overflowing as well... havent got the chance to go thru that yet... so i missed alot of things currently..... well hopefully i'll be able to get back to d cycle of society very soon... damnit m getting really numb, dumb n bumped! bangang wah ku... aaah uuuh iiihhh.. haha :p

Anyways to all who are still visiting this forsaken not updated blog of mine n who also send nice SHR greetings to me i'd like to wish u all SELAMAT HARI RAYA maaf zahir dan batin... n nope i havent forgotten bt u ppl.... m just currently lost to the world... or shud i say currently off the ground..

ermm... watelse is there to say.... antah ah... bangang ku wah... i've been shutting up quite alot now... it is so unlike me... i actually dint realise i am capable of shutting up hahaha... but of course the tots stil wonders like crazy as usual... as if theres any antidote for that ryt... i wish!

i've been having nightmares, weird dreams that i owes welcome, new faces unknown to me in my life n just funny things in lalaland.... i indulged n usually i forced myself back to sleep to know how the story ends.... but as i awake... i lost grip of it... sigh*

if only we can create our own dreams n just live there during sleeping period.... wont that be fun... especially for people like me who got nothing meaningful to do... wheeeeeeee~

anyways... dats it for now... i'll probably be back in months to come wawawa.....

On & on, i dream awake and dream asleep to close my eyes and shut it tight, though in my wake and in my sleep i know i'm dreaming on both sweet sight...

As i awake from my sleep that usual starts with a struggle, it does the same as i am awakening... i just dont want to get up... was it the dreams or was it the day that tells me its another day m gonna waste... sigh*

At nite when all is quiet and people starts to doze off to the dreamlands' mirage.. i lay await for this mind to shut off and just be at ease... but frustrated by the dark surrounding.. i see more than i should've... i see the view of my life, just like in a cinema, you can only see the movie clearly as they turned off the lights... and thats the focus of it all... and there it is my life flashes... a rerun of things i've forgotten and rememembered... so divine and vivid... it reminds me and i went back and forth... just trying to go to sleep... damnit!

what i realise is, we missed certain or perhaps most things in life when we do not stay focus.. and cmon lets face the fact.. it is not easy to focus on things that we hardly notice... and by having this reruns... we may go back see where it all began.. how our future is ruled by this rule of steps we made coincidently or on purpose...

i know i ain't making any sense again as usual but i just feel like expressing my thoughts again when it has been awhile since i said damnit! haha... i missed the rains mist on the my face as it breezes through the car window while i am cruising alone along jerudong road just singing thru a tune.. i missed the sweeping of my feet to the ground while i am swinging on the swing while watching the fireworks display on festival dayz... i missed the ride on my bike circling around the house when it was still new, i missed that callings of my name from those whom i call frens...

But most of all i missed myself when all i did was daydream at nite and fantasize my way thru the day... just wishing and hoping for something that made my day :)

i was filled with joy and aspirations, inspirations, imaginations, no wonder i had to much expectation as i grew up... owh n i miss tumbling down the small hill behind the house with my fairy stick and wearing gown.. i tumble down over and over again on dirt... dat was fun...

I know i am so naive, i know i am slacking... and one thing for sure i am slowing down... though my mind just keeps rapidly racing and wondering... there is no stopping sign... i cherished... i am grateful to thee.. i have learnt so much and are still learning more...

this is lifes best moments... when one dreams, pray and pondered and remembered the dayz gone by with a smile... i missed it so much :)

Wow its been a month now... atu lamaaa...

i've been quarantining myself berkubang diatas katil selama sebulan untuk menyebuhkan sakit hati yang sememngnya menyakitkan hati inih! namun aku tetap saja tersenyum kerna hati ini memang sudah biasa haha apakan?! ANtam ;[ lalalala~

Anyways... just some pics i took while berkubang dirumah menalor...

Wasap neh?!

My one and only sister with Nabillah













@Empire for the erm i dont remember.. something to do with business forum.. thats Jul n Sur n me buang boreng...

























@Canteen Business School... AAhh those dayz... missed it! Kana panggil Auntie.. kurang asam... Well this is
Nonoy and Fefee~











And of cors my fave random shot.... Hehee Nadhirah
Tryna show-off her nice ring... she quote
"lawakan buncu!!" haha cute

I was playing around with the nieces today. I have seven now, maybe adding soon. yup more 'anak buah' to come.

I missed their laughter since i haven't been hanging out with the gals lately, i thought i'd capture some of the moments here...

They were delighted and excited to get their pictures taken... thats the sweet part of being soo young, anything is just so exciting and full of fun. I envied them. With no troubles in their minds, they just foolishly play along and laugh aloud as if the day is just another play. It's nice and merry having these kids around.. they made me laugh too...

They dream such as I... and we dream away as we wish!!

How do you differentiate between a bimbo and a bitch?!

Well just some of my observations. Being a Bimbo or a Bitch ain't bad but it jst gets on your nerve sometimes or perhaps most of the time hehe..

I can see the difference between these two by their behaviors and actions. Scenarios are a better way of explaining this.

For example when you meet these two types and you wonder if like you or not;

Bimbo : "Heeyyyyyy (with full enthusiasm)how've u been? You look gorgeous by the way (Smiling :))" then with that they turned around while rolling their eyes and the smile on their face vanished instantly as if their mind were blank.

Bitch : They'd just pretend they din't see you there and hope you wont notice and when you decide to greet her she'd just say 'Oh hey dint see you there (smile)' and that’s it!

When they want something from you

Bimbo : " I soooo want that for my birthay, can you please pretty please get it for me?"

Bitch : " I want THAT for my birthay!"

If you asked them if they like you and they do;

Bimbo: "Of cors I like you, why would you think I dint… tsk silly?"

Bitch: "What kind of a stupid question is that?!"

If they don’t;

Bimbo: "errm of cors hehehe"

Bitch: "Not Really, coz you annoy me!"

If you bring them for dinner and ask where to go or what she wants to eat;

Bimbo: "I donno you decide, wherever you want, but I'm craving for McDonalds actually… do you mind?"

Bitch: "Are you taking me to dinner or not, why the questions?"

If it’s a big deal

Bimbo: "Like dhuh everything is a big deal okey AS IF!"

Bitch: "I just don’t give a damn oryt!"

If they needed some space;

Bimbo: "I need sometime on my own for now, I just have so much to think about, first its studies, my mom wont be home this week, my tutor sucks, I don’t have much cash to get that outfit I sooo wanted and now you… everything is just so messed up.. I hate my life and nobody seems to understand me.. I don’t know why?!"

Bitch: "Just leave me alone ok, don’t you have a life?"

If they are disgusted;

Bimbo: "Eww"

Bitch: "Eurgh"

When they're sad;

Bimbo: "I'm so sad I need a hug :("

Bitch: " m sad, Screw u!!"

They usually say;

Bimbo: "O.M.G"

Bitch: "Gawd!"

Can you judge them? You shudn't every female is a bimbo or a bitch naturally. Its not wrong we're just born that way. But how they over do it is just perhaps based on their personalities and also their social surroundings. Its very much contagious and spreads to your system if you're not careful.

Why bimbos are?

They wanted to be this goody-goody girls, being all polite and pretty. They are mostly found to be very vain and over. So eventhough they'r being mean they try to seem feminine as much as they can. They don’t show their true identity but they express their emotions so much they can make a drama. They are mostly naughty decent girls who likes attention 'Lyk Ohh-MY-GOD" but overall nice girls to date :) if they don’t like you, they would still smile and pretend to be nice around you but talk shit behind your back coz they'r girly remember, they don’t want to get into a fight coz that just makes them ugly. This is perhaps because they don’t want to ruin their social networks and stil being wanted and accepted. When in love, they want the whole world to know. Public display of affection is a must. Love hearts, hugs and kisses xoxo.. Well what do you expect? Bimbo!

Why bitches are?

These are problematic female who is full of anger. They just say like they see it or what they feel is rite even though its wrong. They don’t care! Mostly giving statements rather than questions. Statements that they feel the need to be told. If they don’t like you don’t worry they make it obvious. They don’t care if you don’t want to be friends with them coz they don’t need to be. They don’t make friends much cause they think the world is full of posers. They are hated but respected for their boldness. Not much of a romantic deal, when they fall in love they like to keep it discreet coz they don’t like public display of affections. No one needs to know her personal life. Straightforward bitches!

'The Enemy'









What can we learn from chess? Logic! For me there's more to it then that.

I learn so much about my character after the game. i realized that if you're lost in finding your ground play a game and you'll understand why..

I found out that I've been laying all my strategies in my head but nothing done.. n I've been so focused on the view i missed the other possibilities that lurks behind me. What did i missed? A LOT!

I succumb to this rage when i was defeated.. apparently my strategies wasn't even near to good.. i was too uptight, to guarded, to defensive that i dint have a place to move.. i was caught checked mate! N i was beaten at my own territory. How sad is that?!

Then somehow i realized that i condemned myself for not being able to be smart enough. Why?! Its OK to loose yen.. its just a game i thought! Really?! Was it?! Well for me my behavior in the game is exactly how i am in life. I'm too calculated n stucked. Damn since when have i been that way? I used to be this carefree person not caring in the world of what might happen or what shud.. coz i know everything happens for a reason.. meaning that if i get stabbed from the back then somehow it is just meant to be.. Accept the unexpected.. thats what i used to remember.. n life is just much more easier.. *sigh!

I loose focus n i drift apart. I need to learn to be patient n be aware of the surroundings. Not too much but alert! I'll stick to being myself that i hated sometimes.. i shudn't have abandon it.. i shud have learnt from it.. n best of all.. i know evendo i loose to this battle, inside i know i won by being myself!

K this is something like Photofunia. EffmyPic.com... I just found this jst now.. hmm who wud throw my picture to the sea ah.... haha apakan?!